I've been thinking...

Dangerous, I know. But I've been thinking just the same. I'm still on the "drama" rant. Summer is here, and soon we'll be coming up on a terrible anniversary. My beautiful niece-in-law D, who was 25 years old, shot and killed herself last summer. It was a terrible, terrible day, that will stay with us for so long. She was so loved, by so many people. And there's never been an answer to the question "why?", and probably never will be.
The "Robert" drama started with the suicide. All of his stupid behavior, the opiod abuse, the suicude threats, the return to alcohol as the answer to all life's problems, and now the addition of meth to his fantastic life. We're coming up on the anniversary of D's suicide. And I'm worried.
Why, you ask, would I possible be worried about this jackass? Why would I care?
About him, I don't care, I'm not worried.
But, we have a child together. A child that I love beyond belief, more than words can say. And he loves his father regardless, as he should. And that child has a sibling who, although he shares no genetics with Robert, loves him also. And Robert has a sister, who is one of the most wonderful people I know. Who has survived her daughter's suicide (with much grace, I might add), and who loves her brother even though she despises his behavior.
So, I worry that with all of the drug and alcohol abuse, with a divorce in the works and with a complete halt in all communication with the children, what the reaction to the anniverary will be.
I admit that I have all kinds of evil thoughts (and I'm really quite ok with that), but in truth, I don't want my children and other family members to be unhappy. Thus, I want him to get his shit together sooner rather than later. Before he does something permanent. Permanently stupid!
So, I'm thinking. Dangerous. Sigh...